For the Hate of Horror

I hate horror movies (sorry Caitlin lol). If I even so much as hear the musical soundtrack of a scary movie, I want to escape the premises as quickly as humanly possible. I gave them a fair try over the years. I thought maybe they are something you develop a tolerance to, so I didn’t disregard them totally in the beginning. I also secretly enjoyed the thrill. There’s something about getting your heart racing really fast, and getting that high of adrenaline. However, the past couple years, the aftermath of a horror movie is just not worth it. Yes, I am one of those people who is suddenly aware of every creak, shadow and temperature change for at least the next three days of my life. 

If anyone else can relate, let me give you some suggestions for movies to avoid:

  1. Dead Silence: if you have a fear of dolls, this is sure to increase that fear by at least a million. 
  2. The Conjuring: if you’ve ever questioned whether your house is haunted, watch this movie. This movie is guaranteed to improve your “spidy senses” skills and emergency exit plan. 
  3. It: Clowns. No further explanation needed. 
  4. Insidious: The Last Key: a movie to give you an excuse to NEVER go into your basement again.

I could go on, but that would be a terribly long list. 

Now, if you live with someone who actually likes horror movies, let me give you some strategies for dealing with that:

  1. Tell them if you have to watch their horror movie suggestion, they have to watch your movie suggestion (make it super cringy and something they would absolutely hate!)
  2. Wager a back massage: If you don’t watch the horror movie, you will give them a back massage. (Trust me, this works!)
  3. Keep listing off movie suggestions, but never come to a conclusion. Time will tick away, and there will be no more time to actually watch the movie.
  4. RUN! 
  5. CRY!

Write these strategies down and keep them close, because when you live with someone who likes horror movies, Halloween isn’t just for a season, you will have to implement these methods ALL year round. 

If things go awry, and you end up watching that scary movie, here are some remedies to get through the next few days: 

  1. Watch 3-5 romance movies, followed by 4-5 comedy movies, preferably all in a row. 
  2. Prior to bedtime to tire you out so that you can sleep soundly, run around your house for an hour, have a toddler nearby (even if you have borrow one), and think about a least 3 mundane tasks that need to get done tomorrow.
  3. CRY

Happy Halloween, almost Christmas, thank goodness, alleluia, friends!

Until next time,

  • Jess 🙂

Photo by Jr Kopa on Unsplash

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