Hey You! Happy Monday! Grab your coffee, tea, or wine and let’s get started! Tonight, I am drinking a Pineapple Jarritos. This week has been different. I don’t have a specific topic, and I just get to write. I wanted to write about romance, the modern dating, or some kind of online dating outline, but honestly, that isn’t what my heart wants to talk about. As much as I love dating, I love the fairy-tale of it all. I love the stories you get out of it, and the feelings you get in it.
Why am I talking about Romance if I didn’t want to write about it?
As much as I say that I don’t like emotions and feelings, they are my motivation for writing. If I fall in love, then I write about heartache. If I am heartbroken, then I write about the love I think I desire. For some reason, I always write about the opposite of what I feel. I have always thought if I write about it because it is what I truly desire. Do I write everything I don’t have? But really, it is me writing about things that I don’t understand. I write about what I want to know. When I am in love, I forget what it is like to be lonely. I forget what these feelings feel like, and I want to feel them again.
WRITING IS ME FREE FALLING OUT OF THE WORLD I AM IN.
Most people love to read because it is their escape from reality. Honestly, I feel that on a whole other level. When I read a book, I forget who I am and get lost in words. But, when I write a book, I am a completely different person. I know exactly who I am, but it isn’t my mundane self. Writing is my escape from myself. It is the ability to be whoever, whenever, and accomplish whatever I want
Back on topic, why am I writing about this? Even though I am inspired by the opposite, I still experience writer block. In Thursday’s topic, we talk about procrastination and its relationship with fear. I write daily, but sometimes, I get so into my head in fear of not being good enough. The fear of not being good enough causes me to get writer’s block. I get so in my head about one sentence that I cannot move on until it is perfect. It takes me hours to write a subject, verb, and predicate.
I am trying to work on my creative portfolio for my Fantasy Class at university, and every word feels so insignificant. Every word that comes out of my head does not feel good enough. I want to use this portfolio for a beginning draft of my novel, so I feel so much pressure on it. I feel like the words have to be perfect for publishing, so I am reading books for motivation. Yet, according to Scott Westerfeld’s Afterworlds, “books don’t happy by accident.” Not everyone will think my words are significant, but there will be at least one. I recommend so many of my favourite books to my friends, and they hate some of them. Each style of the book is loved by different people. I began looking at writing as enjoyment for myself and no one else. It is my passion.
If you find a passion but are afraid of others’ opinions, then do it for yourself. Don’t let other people control the things that make you happy. I hope you have a wonderful week and follow your dreams.
Photo by Sam Chang on Unsplash