This One is for You

Happy Monday! Grab your coffee, tea, or wine and let’s get started! I just got home from the busyness of grieving. The funeral is the moment when you are running around, talking to every single person that you have ever met and ones that you have never met, and rushing the process of mourning to get back to your life as soon as possible. 

However, this was different. This was more my style of grieving (if you can have a grieving style). Not many people know or believe this about me, but I have extreme social anxiety. I come across very outgoing, but I always have an anxiety attack on the inside, especially in large groups. I felt more comfortable with a small group of people being able to express myself. I was able to morn and feel things without being alone, or the fear of my anxiety. My grandma deserved to be remembered by more people than just the few that were there. However, she was. She is remembered by her laugh, faith, compassion, and always having her pant legs rolled up. So, anyone who wasn’t able to be there, Grandma knows you love her, and she loves you too. 

I am not good at expressing my feelings vocally. Usually, I write and keep it all to myself. I don’t usually share my writing with others, but I am sharing this. However, she was more than words; she was the feeling of comfort; she was compassionate; most of all, she was always giving. But since I cannot express myself to all of you in any other way than words, here is another poem for the wonderful woman I call Grandma.

If angels could talk:

They would say you are safe and happy. That you were

smiling down on all of us. They would say: you are proud

of every last one of us. That the smile we saw you smile

was nothing compared to the smile you make every day

now that you can see us all at once. No matter where we

are, you can watch over us and pray for us.

The angels would say that the stars are brighter now because 

an angel as beautiful, kind, and loving as you, is up there 

looking down at us with grandpa right by your side. The angels

would remind us to live our most glorious life, so we can give 

you something wonderful to watch. Yet, even when we aren’t 

living our best life, you will be watching over us and guiding 

us down the right path.

The angels are saying look up and pray, and she will be

with you all of the way.

I will love you forever, Grandma. Rest in Peace, and I will always be listening for you

Love Caitlin ❤

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